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Despedaz​á​ndose

by Crushed!?

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1.
2.
Wildfires 04:06
Hazy sky Catch the sunrise I'm running from the place called home No more sleeping Face my fears Accept that something was never there Last To know Clear mind's first to go Last To know Clear mind's first to go A reckless spark Watch it burn A sudden flash followed by thunder Sudden blaze Stubborn to extinguish Smoke leads the way from all hesitation How long Can you stand by And watch You don't care if it's not your problem You're a wildfire Out of control Burning the things that helped you grow You're a wildfire Out of control Burning the things that helped you grow Is this too much Is it not enough Will this blaze be my last call Abusing time I've left behind The people that cared the most Running out of what stole my soul Will this blaze be my last call Abusing time I've left behind The people that cared the most Running out of what stole my soul You broke the bottle Your habits are out of control Nothing left but blood Nothing left you're all alone.
3.
Scrunch 05:29
You can keep the key The locks were changed Like a vacant room You stayed away It's not so simple I can't just let go And I'll fight with myself to walk away To stay and wait is fine it'll be another day Butterflies turn into stone weighing me down Cob webs we called home fall to the ground The thought that you'd turn into someone else Shapeshift into my perception Erasing memories disguised as hope Blurry lens of my projection (Conjuring wishful thinking that you were there) It's the thought that you'd turn into someone else The thought that you'd turn into someone And I'll fight with myself to walk away To stay and wait it's fine it'll be another day Butterflies turn to stone weighing me down Cob webs we called home fall to the ground I'll leave the lights on An invitation to accept Return to sender If the lines disconnect Decaying monument to you're laughter An empty koi pond full of answers You were a decoy That came into my life It was the fall of Troy A blessing in disguise.
4.
Cue To Cue 04:45
Why would you show up Why would you even come Ask me for help But what have you done High off of power Becoming drunk with disgust You didn't put in any work Criticizing just because Look at what we built Years of effort gone to waste We're so quick to burn it down And spit in each other's face Like the cracks You never tried to repair I take the blame For all of your faults Stockholm syndrome with my mind Ransom locked away in a vault High horse Never come down Take some more A night on the town High horse Never come down Take some more A night on the town It's another story Engraved into my mind It's not fair Being the screen 'til the credits roll Not again no not again Being controlled by a remote Lights go out Silence through the crowd Flames burst out And I'm already burning Lights go out Panic in the house Flames burst out Soon there'll be nothing left Here Like a forgotten grave You kept away Now I'm stuck in this city Now I'm with all my mistakes You're stuck with all of your problems Took black and white from the grey Now who's here Who's got your back Time can try and slow down But days will always change Break a leg Rehearse your lines for your next role Keep it up Be whoever the cameras show Lights go out Silence through the crowd Flames burst out And I'm already burning Lights go out Panic in the house Flames burst out Soon there'll be nothing left Here Like an endless maze I lost my way Can't remember the reasons I stayed away Yet nothing changes It's all the same It's all the same 'til It's all the same We're in hell
5.
Contra 03:18
Highways where I lost control Kept right long enough to hold my own (Southbound no hope Stick to the road) The sun will swallow you whole The sand doesn't care if you make it home (Buried alive Don't speak just drive) Being dragged through the mud Suffocating can't breathe Like this All the cuts and bruises Are all well worth spent Through rose colored glasses Blood stains not just for show Free will thrown out the window (Bandage and gauze Left dead for what) Lost track of days gone Forgot I'm on the run (Sundown keep calm Lights off stay armed) Being dragged through the mud Suffocating can't breathe Like this All the cuts and bruises Are all well worth spent Through rose colored glasses Dead or alive Being dragged through the mud Suffocating can't breathe Like this All the cuts and bruises Are all well worth spent Through rose colored glasses
6.
Snek 04:21
Cracks beneath the surface What is it with the deep end Why do I always sink Why do I always get mad When I find it hard to think Cracks beneath the surface Call it God I call it shame You call it faith I say that's pain Tell me, do you bleed? Find your ways To shake the truth It always seems To change its use Why am I lying? Oh, God What have You done? It seems The edges aren't clear Turn the Page once more Does it Seem Clearer to you? Cracks beneath the surface Fighting What is fighting anymore? Does it really mean Just Who gets the better score? Cracks beneath the surface Sometimes it just isn't fair But what does fairness Mean out there Fairness is madness The lord is watching Check your walls His piercing gaze Will end us all What is your purpose? Oh God What have you done? It seems The edges are more clear Turn the Page once more Does it seem Clearer to you And it's almost biblical The amount of raw deceit You see it means Submission Is admission of defeat And I thought it was reality To carry all this guilt But I haven't seen myself Since I found my free will I sang that first verse To remind myself What It feels like to hurt Bend your knees it's only fair Submit again Cracking on the surface What is it with a service Why is it all the same Why can't I lay you down Without living all your shame Cracking on the surface I will live
7.
You've seen the other side Too late to cry Face to face so you cant run Turning me inside out Trying to hide my sense of doubt Can't break this smile Everything's working out just fine I'll just stare out of this Window Trying to look at myself All the life you see around me Starts to burn inside my head Inside my head Everything fades away I cant keep lying to myself Scream at the wall for just a moment Break all focus And as my world turns red I'll just keep staring out this Window Trying to look at myself All the life you see around me Starts to burn inside my head I'll just keep staring out this window Trying to look at myself All the life you see around me Starts to burn inside my head You got me looking out this window Trying to look at myself All the life you see around me Starts to burn inside my head I'll just keep looking Trying not to break focus I'll just keep looking Into the furnace I'll just keep looking Trying not to break focus I'll just keep looking I'll just keep looking Out this Window Trying to look at myself All the life you see around me Starts to burn inside my head You got me looking out this window Trying to look at myself All the life you see around me Starts to burn inside my head
8.
¡Bailar! 04:41
You should Consult the moon About the empty sky Quiet streets No ones around Take a bite of the night Take a bite of the night See clear Through the foggy mist Like I'm almost there Tired lungs Gasping for air Like the stabbing knives Like the stabbing knives Cold air Stealing the night I'm a million things But I'm not alright But I'm moving D-d-d-dancing Drink fear It's another party And the End of the year For hate and greed But I'm moving D-d-d-dancing Take some pills with beer Letting ourselves go There's no symbol for fear The end is coming near Toxic fumes in our eyes We're all ready to die Another nuclear winter Don't stare at the light Cold air Stealing the night I'm a million things But I'm not alright But I'm moving D-d-d-dancing Drink fear It's another party And the End of the year For hate and greed But I'm moving D-d-d-dancing You gotta let go Everything's alright As long as we're still dancing We know we're still alive The parties almost over It's the end of the night Staring into the light It's time to say goodbye Bye
9.
Loops 04:59
Make my life A pair of dice Roll snake eyes Lose your own life On city streets Night lights up Shrill thoughts As heart beats rot Time stops dust blows Forgot My life falls to what Ending with thoughts of Suicide by cyanide Where I left my mind Waiting Wanting Searching Begging Waiting for someone Wanting to go Searching for truth Begging to see you Treasure Waiting for the glory of a king Pleasure Wanting everything we see for free Searching For the prize we die Begging For a slice of their life Waiting for the ending All our hope rising up burning all the ashes Showing all our flaws our scars Bleeding out a broken heart Look me in the eyes tell me I've lost Stay right here with me Ride these waves of insanity Sleeping with no control Closed our minds off to hide the truth In the end it calls Answers surface from our own hearts Lost the keys to the door We're always searching for something more Chasing a life No end in sight Searching for a light Absence of sight Chasing Ghost in dreams Faking a life of luxury Remember Who I am I losing my mind To the sand Tantalizing fear Of everything your near Claustrophobia Settles in sincere Waiting for the ending All our hope rising up burning all the ashes Showing all our flaws our scars Bleeding out a broken heart Look me in the eyes tell me I've lost What's the cause Of painting flaws On the walls Of their hearts Where's the love Find the hate Eradicate Evaporate What's the cause Eradicate Find the hate Eradicate Evaporate Waiting for the ending All our hope rising up burning all the ashes Showing all our flaws our scars Bleeding out, a broken heart Look me in the eyes tell me I've lost Stay right here with me Ride these waves of insanity Stay right here with me Ride these waves of insanity
10.
Molting 04:24
Built up Feeling like I'm nothing worth the time to Fix or improve Replace and consume Caught up Wishing it would get easier but it Can't be this hard And I can't be this strong Peeling my skin in hopes to reveal something other than faults Wounds before they heal Keeping my distance I hate to admit it The complications of irrelevance Peel the skin Peel the skin Peel the skin It must come off Keep distance Keep distance Keep distance I can't control the way I used to be every step I took wrong Growing pains shifting time still goes on Lost sight of the reasons visions I couldn't keep I can't see the forest for a single leaf. Oh the way I used to be every step I took wrong Growing pains shifting time still goes on Lost sight of the reasons visions I couldn't keep I can't see the forest for a single goddamned leaf Fucked up Put my ears to the ground listening close for a sound I should've heard by now Back up 'til you can feel the wall You can't cut corners when you're forced into one Parasites Foggy eyes can't seem to recognize Disbelief in hearing any side No peace of mind No peace of mine No peace I can find Parasites I feel them moving Fucking parasites I can't stop moving Inch by Inch I'll find no place I can hide I can't control the way I used to be every step I took wrong Growing pains shifting time still goes on Lost sight of the reasons visions I couldn't keep I can't see the forest for a single leaf. Oh the way I used to be every step I took wrong Growing pains shifting time still goes on Lost sight of the reasons visions I couldn't keep I can't see the forest for a single goddamned leaf Shed your skin the snakes are always known to come When they see prey exploiting you for what they want The parasites are rooted deep but not for long Content inside better than it ever was Shed your skin the snakes are always known to come When they see prey exploiting you for what they want The parasites are rooted deep but not for long Content inside better than it ever was Shed your skin the snakes are always known to come When they see prey exploiting you for what they want The parasites are rooted deep but not for long Content inside better than it ever was
11.
Don't know what to do Fingers bloody Walls stained Will I ever leave this room Caught again My mind's intent Panicking to bloom Pollen spreads No oxygen How will I make it out I have to make it out Falling into the same routine The roads look the same All around me I can't see the cliff side Or hear waves beneath I'll walk this path But not with ease And I swear I'm not insane It's too much weight I can't complain Too much at stake Make me give in Broken ankle Crippled conscience Chaos reigns I need time Where to start I have a purpose And a beating fucking heart Arms reach out Find a ledge Don't look down I'll make it Even if I can't be found Like the wolves They'll drag you by your feet And we'll make it so far It'll bring you to your knees Am I insane Why should I wait Feeling disdain I've lost all hope Nowhere to go No way to cope Pouring rain Falling back Hands lose hold Feel a feeling that My feeling's getting old In the mud Down is up Can't see clear See the sunlight coming But it's never here Like the wolves They'll drag you by your feet And we'll make it so far It'll bring you to your knees Still alive Accepting no defeat But I'm walking while I bleed Hands and knees No place for me Down but not out I'm getting up And I'll keep on swinging Even if you're bringing the end Down but not out I'm getting up But I'll keep on swinging Nothings holding me back Don't know what to do Fingers bloody Walls stained Will I ever leave this room Caught again My mind's intent Panicking to bloom Pollen spreads No oxygen How will I make it out I have to make it out Falling into the same routine The roads look the same All around me I can't see the cliff side But hear waves beneath I'll walk this path But not with ease The roads look the same All around me The roads look the same All around me Like the wolves They'll drag you by your feet And we'll make it so far It'll bring you to your knees Still alive Accepting no defeat But I'm walking while I bleed Hands and knees No place for me How will I get out I can't get out
12.
Light pollution I can't see the stars that guide me home If they're even there I won't ever know I only have streetlights to feel less alone Slip out of body Hover above me like I've always done And start circling into the unknown Losing my grip, common sense, I should just let go Become a ghost Chemical reactions no longer real Memories I fabricated for years Of some signs I misread, reading a dead language Inevitable I didn't make the choice to end up here If I'm being punished for my own sins I'm leaving on my own terms No longer dealing with it A big mistake Waking up today Waking up today When I know exactly what that means Know exactly what is expected of me It won't go away I can't feel the rain It doesn't feel the same When it's pouring right in front of my face Feel more alive in reflection of window panes Still clinging onto the thought that It could all be better Yet still I wince when the weight shifts And suddenly it doesn't matter I was so ashamed to be wounded So I refused to heal Now I'm choking back all the infection I no longer feel Can't seem to shake This feeling I make This feeling I hate Like the path always ends the same Even when the journeys change I'm so afraid All the peaks I've climbed to make it here Are gone; the rain makes mountains disappear When will it ever get better So far it's only gotten worse Still clinging onto the thought that It could all be better Yet still I wince when the weight shifts And suddenly it doesn't matter I was so ashamed to be wounded So I refused to heal Now I'm finishing pretty much everything The end is so surreal So ashamed Never here So ashamed Never heal Light pollution I can't see the steps that guide me home If they're even there I won't ever know I only have headlights to feel less alone Slip out of body Hover above me like I've always done But this time seems a bit different Take the step, no more senses, I have to let go Become a ghost Chemical reactions no longer there Memories I'll never get to share Just some signs I misread, terminal illness Inevitable I made the choice to end up here There's only two ways to forgive sins I've had my confession and I'm dealing with it I was so ashamed to be wounded So I refused to heal. So ashamed Never here So ashamed Never heal
13.
I've gone critical Temperature keeps rising Energy, this life's Got to go The chemicals, the chemicals break burst and Burst to flame I must contain a purpose, lest I explode in Vain The only way is up But make no mistake So it begins Behind me is a hypothesis Beating on my chest is the weight of the world It helps me disconnect from earthly burdens Life as I know it Yet I am stuck in the chaos, and as I ascend everything makes sense Nothing makes sense And there is no breath deep enough, no miracle to change This course of events So I strap up so I strap up so I can Stabilize Dance on the flames of a blazing fire to stay alive While our very creation consumes us We stabilize If there's really a balance in everything, that's what I'd like to see I'd risk everything just to see for my self Hit me with that delta V Oh the chemicals There's nothing without them but I'll never see them again They will jettison And this journey costs everything, but I'll risk it again and again For a glimpse of home To finally see it for what it is Fuck if I care if it's not enough, I am, here is, this is what could have been I can't leave this vessel It's in a vacuum, and it's highly imperfect Made with mixed intentions, imperfections It speaks with an electronic voice Who's really seen freedom? Where is it? How could we ever understand? I doubt those stars have answers But I'm going I'm going 'cause I can't stop It's moving closer and closer It could be in reach Look at me Just take a good long fucking look at me

credits

released January 5, 2021

Songs and lyrics written and recorded by Crushed!?

Greg Silva - Drums/Backup Vocals
Jake Snider - Guitar/Backup Vocals
Joel Sheets - Vocals
Nik Vasko - Bass/Backup Vocals
Adam Smith - Guitar/Backup Vocals/Piano

Album Artwork by Wesley Mebust

Samples/Sound Design by Nik Vasko

Recorded by Matthew Tobias at Empty House Studio in Albuquerque, New Mexico

Mixed by Brok R. Mende at Friends Of Friends Recording in Jacksonville, Florida

Mastered by Doug Van Sloun at Focus Mastering in Omaha, NE

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Crushed!? Albuquerque, New Mexico

Experimental Post Hardcore from Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA.
We're chaotic and unpredictable, sometimes party a bit to hard, and probably doing sound at the shows we're already playing. Follow us on everything! @crushedisdabomb

Joel Sheets - Vocals
Jake Snider - Guitar
Gabriel Aro - Guitar
Nik Vasko - Bass
Greg Silva - Drums
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